Quiet

Today, I decided to go hiking in the Gorge. It was a little rainy, but I felt like I needed to get away for the day and have some quiet time with God. I know that many people have their times when they feel close to God, or some sort of higher power and mine is definitely when I am in nature. The trees, the smells, the quiet, all just remind me of how big God is and that He created this world for me to enjoy. Today was a perfect day for hiking; because of the rain there weren't many people out, everything smelled fresh and mossy, and the colors seemed to be even more vibrant. 

As I was walking, I was thinking about my trip and talking to God about what I was going to be experiencing. A friend asked me at church if I had experienced any "spiritual warfare" about this trip. I guess I was thinking of it more in a more dramatic way and didn't really think I had. But, as I was walking, I thought about different times that I had doubts about this trip, whether is was how it would come together financially, the things we would be doing, if I was personally ready for it. I do tend to believe that my spiritual life isn't what it should be; I'm not reading my Bible, praying, journaling, having enough quiet time, etc. As if my faith comes down to what I do, rather than just a gift of grace.  I realized that was my spiritual warfare, the little doubts that creep into my head about this trip. 
For the past year, I have been really working on trusting God. To know and be content that He has a plan for me, regardless of how I think things should look. I have been guilty of claiming with my words to trust God, but to be busily arranging things to turn out my way. Since that usually doesn't work anyway, I have been learning to trust with everything. Today, I was thinking about what I learned and I realized that it's not just lip service anymore. I really do trust God with everything. I am confident in His plan, and know beyond doubt that it is better than anything I could come up with myself. That realization helped me to see that, besides being packed and funded for my trip, I am spiritually ready as well.
I know that the next few weeks will bring challenges and hard times unlike any I have ever experienced before. I will be challenged and attacked in many ways and my trust in the Lord will be tested. I am confident that I will be able to stand up in these challenges with the help of God and will come away with an even stronger sense of who he is and how I can rely on him. I can't wait to share with you when I return.